Henry, Shane, Rich and I went to see Match Point last night. I really enjoyed it. It was an interesting look at people and interactions and choices. I’ll be referencing this movie in a later post. Overall, a good movie to watch and discuss and I’m glad that we saw it.
But, for now, I say (spoilers):
- he didn’t love his wife
- Nola went crazy. I mean, she’s just crazy. I got distracted on the other point (see later email) and forgot to say something about how awful her behavior was. She wasn’t winning any points to make the outcome different. She didn’t make decisions for herself that would ensure care for herself and the baby. She was incredibly focused on trying to manipulate the people around her and not thinking about other options that she might have. Probably not helpful to convincing the man involved to stick around.
ARE YOU SERIOUS? Okay, I know that some people really like children and babies. But why would you do this? I guess that I just feel badly for the child – who will raise him?
I just finished listening to Barbara Kingsolver read her novel Prodigal Summer. This is definitely a great way to read this book – to have the author read it to you. It took a while to get through it since I’m not driving much. While listening, I was totally drawn into the interweaving story lines and thought that it was a brilliant book. In between car trips, I often wondered what was going to happen to the characters.
It also did a great job of talking about humans and the land and animals interacting. Kingsolver had definitely done some research on animals. I was fascinated with some of the things that I learned about insects and coyotes.
| Proper 25, Year A Canterbury Northwestern October 23, 2005 |
The one where Heather talks about Sex
There are two things that people say you are not to talk about in polite company – religion and politics.
There are two things that they say are not to be talked about in church – money and politics. Last week, we talked about money…
Sex, sex, sex – there – I said it out loud in the church and nothing fell, no lightening struck. While there seems to be an awful lot of talk about sex and sexuality in the church, it seem to be related to THEM and THEIRS. Tonight, I’d like us to reflect on ourselves.
In the beginning, we were created in the image of God. Sexuality is part of the creation; it is a gift given to us. What do we do with that? Some people say to ignore it because it’s not the church’s place to talk about sexuality. It gets the church in trouble and it’s not worth playing with that danger.
The Episcopal Church talks about creating meaning through scripture, tradition, and reason. Through these three things, we are able to discern personal and communal theologies and actions.
In regards to sexuality, scripture has many laws and outlines what not to do, but it is not so helpful with outlining what to do. The Old Testament talks about laws of commitment and provides the consequences of adultery, which was usually death. Other parts of the Old Testament is like reading raunchy novels including the story of David and Bathsheba. He decided that he wanted another man’s wife, so arranged for her to come to him and for her husband to die in a battle. Their child ends up dying, and then they find some peace with God about it. In the Gospels, Jesus talks about adultery and divorce. The Acts of the Apostles is encouraging people to evangelize and encourages them to abstain in order to do God’s work. Paul tells people to get married only if they can’t restrain themselves.
In the Gospel today, Jesus talks about love. The love of God and love of others is interconnected, we can’t pick just one. God’s love is deep and abiding for us; God loves us completely and unconditionally. While there are different names for love (agape, phileo, chesed, eros), all love flows from God. We are called to be open to this love.
With all of this scripture, how has the church responded? Many scare people into abstinence, saying, “If you have sex, you’re going to hell.” Or, they put their fingers in their ears, “la, la, la” and say, “Don’t tell us, we don’t want to know.” What are the reasons for this? I think part of it is the Puritan roots of the United States. This has resulted in a division of physical, spiritual, emotional, intellectual selves. We compartmentalize these four things and don’t work much to integrate them into our full beings.
The church chooses not to speak about the images or experiences in society. We are surrounded by sexuality and sex in advertisements, TV, movies because sex sells. Our culture often has the thought of “everyone’s doing it, and it doesn’t matter too much.” There are encounters of random, casual “hooking up” that are not connected to the spiritual life. But even throughout the cultural portrayals and experiences, people are struggling to find meaning in life and searching for a place to belong. They don’t want to be part of the sexual manipulation or violence (as was portrayed in the Thursday issues of the Northwestern Daily).
How might the church respond? Sex is an outward expression of the inward emotion. Hmm… this language makes it sound sacramental. And I might be scoffed at for this language, but by thinking about it in this way, we can treat it with respect and honor that came through our creation. It is like our love and God’s love being totally connected. Sex connected with love and shows the outward enactment of an emotion and commitment.
I won’t tell you what to do with your body. That’s not my place. But I will ask you to consider how to combine the spiritual, physical, emotional, and intellectual aspects of your life. Part of college is making sense out of a whole lot of new information and then integrating the different parts of self. The aspects are connected, and we are offered opportunities to reflect on how actions influence each aspect.
Sexual urges are normal – several ways to respond
1. Just do it.
2. Discern relationships and emotions and let sexuality be part of integrating the whole and not be a disconnected decision
3. Abstinence – choose not to have sex for a while to create some space until you’re ready to enter into that commitment with someone.
4. Celibacy – never having sex. There are people who chose this option to dedicate their lives to doing God’s work – more of the Acts of the Apostles approach.
And with all the information, I will also ask to consider the following. Having one night stands or random encounters with many people does not honor self, the other, or God. If you also believe that sexuality as a gift, then giving your body to another is offering that person a gift. Will s/he honor it as such? Decisions do have consequences to self and community. There is a lot of talk of that in the Old Testament, but can be applied to us also. Choosing to have sexual relations with another does influence the full community and how people relate to each other. I would ask that you choose to act in ways that build up relationships. Talk about sex with your partner, ask questions. What does it mean in relationship? Where is God in that relationship?
God loves us and invites us into relationship. Because of God’s love for us, we can then love other people and create relationship with them. Our creation, in God’s image, involves sexuality. This gift, combined with all of our other gifts, influences how we live in our communities and interact with others. Let us honor and support each other as we discern how to live out God’s love in the world.
| Proper 24, Year A Canterbury Northwestern October 16, 2005 |
The one where Heather talks about Money
There are two things that people say you are not to talk about in polite company – religion and politics.
There are two things that they say are not to be talked about in church – money and politics. Tonight, we’ll talk about money…
I think that the church should be talking about money. The church can serve as a resource for people and can help us understand how money can fit into our lives. It’s something that’s in the world, and the church can help integrate thoughts about money with other spiritual theologies.
In the Gospel today, Jesus never answers the question. There is a trap set for him, and he provides an answer. But this answer can be interpreted differently; there is no clear answer.
The people of Jesus’ time see the image of the Emperor and question if this means that they are worshipping the Emperor. Jesus doesn’t help in understanding this division of religion and politics and he doesn’t help answer questions about money. The people must come to some understanding and discern for themselves the proper use of money.
So must we…
What is money? According to the dictionary, it is a medium of exchange, something paid for work done. It is also a way of living in the US – obtaining what you need to survive. Often, it is a really big rock around your ankle – when you have it, or don’t have it.
Some people think that the church shouldn’t talk about money because it’s a private affair. The Church has no place in having teaching about church. Other people say that the church says one thing and does another with money – being hypocritical in regards to money.
However, our culture has LOTS to say. Money is good and important – it brings you POWER. The more you have, the better person you are. People do embarrassing or disgusting things on TV to get it. Barenaked Ladies muse about what they would do if they had a million dollars. Our culture is about “bigger, better, faster, more” and in order to achieve that, we must have money. We have turned into a credit card culture. We have been trained to want instant gratification and to fit into our culture, we have to have what others have.
Today, Jesus reminds us that we are made in God’s image and we need to give ourselves to God. Jesus tells us to have confidence in God.
Jesus said: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink or what you will wear…God will clothe you more than the lilies of the field and feed you more than the birds of the air…strive first for the kingdom of God” (Matt 6:25, 33)
Scripture and Jesus are pretty clear on money. The Bible lays out a tithe. Duet. 14:22 tells that you are to give a tenth of what your fields produce to God. Give to the Levites (the priests) 10% to take care of them and the poor. Matthew talks about how some gave 10%, but did it grudgingly and therefore, missed the love. Luke 18.22 tells of the rich man who comes to Jesus and says that he’s done all needed to be a follower. Jesus challenges him to, “give all you have” but the man couldn’t do that and therefore, left in disgrace.
Other Bible passages encourage us to “store up treasurers in Heaven” and "Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; for one's life does not consist in the abundance of possessions." (Luke 12:15) In the story of the widow’s mite, she took care of her necessities and gave the rest to the church.
What does the church say about money? Throughout stewardship weeks, the church says that time is money. It also says that giving of resources shows dedication to the church. And once a year, churches do stewardship campaigns – they are going on right now. This is not a stewardship sermon, but rather a ways to get you to start thinking about your money. Students seem to be in a different category than a regular parishioner, but how you deal with your money now helps shape how you will deal with your money later. And perhaps the church can help you to figure out where money fits in your life.
Dave Ramsey is a man who was a millionaire by the age of thirty and then lost it all. He has since gotten financial stable and has set his priorities with his money. He talks publicly about his money and helps other people figure out how to use it to their benefit and not let it control them. He believes that spending reflects a person’s beliefs. How do you spend your disposable income? There was a recent article in Tribune that talks about about eyebrow waxing. Is it ethical to spend $160 on an eyebrow wax?
Dave says that the first thing on the budget is 10% to the church. After taking his class, my personal finances and budget reflect this belief. I state this publicly, not to shame you, but to share part of my spiritual life. Putting church at the top shows my passion and dedication to the church.
One of Dave’s other main points is that controlling money and spending takes discipline. This is where the church can be talking about this. If I choose to follow of Christ, how should I spend my money? The church should not answer this question for people, but be part of the discernment process for people as they figure this out for themselves. In the church, we can talk with others about money and discern how to use it while reflecting on personal responsibilities and community responsibility. If I give money to the church, I trust the church to use it responsibly to further the Gospel of Christ. In giving money, you do have the right to question the spending and be part of the decisions about how to spend it.
Your spending reveals your passions. How do your spending habits now reflect how your spending habits might look later?
Money is part of living in society, but does not need to control our lives. Each of us needs to decide what to do with what we have. If we declare that we are God’s, then all that we are and all that we have – our work, our souls, our time, our money – can all be offered in thanksgiving for God’s constant love and presence in our lives.
Additional passages consulted and reflected upon for this sermon:
"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust consume and where thieves break in and steal; but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust consumes and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (Matthew 6:19-21)
"You lack one thing; go, sell what you own, and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me." (Mark 10:21)
"Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; for one's life does not consist in the abundance of possessions." (Luke 12:15)
"The land of a rich man produced abundantly. And he thought to himself, 'What should I do, for I have no place to store my crops?' Then he said, ' I will do this: I will pull down my barns and build larger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I will say to my soul, 'Soul, you have ample goods laid up for many years; relax, eat, drink, be merry.' But God said to him, 'You fool! This very night your life is being demanded of you. And the things you have prepared, whose will they be?' So it is with those who store up treasures for themselves but are not rich toward God." (Luke 12:16-21)
"Do not work for the food that perishes, but for the food that endures for eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you." (John 6:27)
In conversations during seminary and now with other chaplains, I have decided that the church does not talk enough about money or sex. (Many of you already know this and are not shocked at all.) Now, often people will say that the church talks too much about both – and in some respects they talk about the wrong aspects of these two things. The church will often only talk about money in regards to “stewardship” or “making a budget” but will not talk about personal finances and how a community can support the individual decisions about money. The church has been having some great debates about sex – but it’s other people’s sexuality and not personal views or reflections about personal behavior. In neither of these topics do I propose that the church should take a stand, but rather serve as a place to reflect on these two issues. A place that can be open about sharing the struggles that individuals have with either/both of these issues. We can be proactive in talking openly about money and sex and how the individual decisions can impact a community.
Last fall, I did two sermons at Canterbury. The first was money and the second was about sexuality. I will be posting these two sermons – and how appropriate that it would be on Valentine’s Day… So, keep tuned and come back and visit soon!
Laurie and I went to see Brokeback Mountain before she ran away again… It was excellent – and awful and horrible and powerful and beautiful. The photography was absolutely amazing – made me miss living in the mountains.
The pain and stigma of being gay was really powerful. I know that it was set “a while ago” but I feel that not enough ground has been covered. The fact that people are killed for orientation (and there was a particularly horrific scene/description of how a man was killed) is horrible to me. Sad beyond what I can express and makes me angrier than I know what to do with. It was a powerful story and worth seeing.
However, Crash is gets my vote as the best movie ever and that’s what should get the Oscar (like I get a vote, but still…).
A friend from Michigan sent me Q Road because he had heard Bonnie Jo Campbell speak and he thought that I would appreciate what she had to say about property. Sure enough, it was fabulous. The book is set in Kalamazoo and re-tells (probably “liberal adaptation” based on the flack that some other books are getting) the story of a summer on Q Road. Old farms were starting to get taken over by new houses. The people moving in were unhappy because of the farm smells and mess and the farmers were sad to see the property being eaten away by houses.
I have a farm in Michigan (Well, I mean…my dad has a farm in Michigan). I love that farm. 90 acres of heaven. Plenty of room for horses.
And I get nervous as the houses move out of town and closer to the farm. I am sad to see fields being turned into subdivisions – houses growing where hay or corn used to grow. Or houses knocking down forest to put up a house with a yard.
But it’s a great read and fun local information. I’d love to go visit that road (not in my usual track of travel) to see if I can figure out which houses she is talking about.