So, the bonus of not having a job means that there is plenty of time to drive around. I’ve put lots of miles on the car since I graduated. But I’ve seen lots of ordinations. The first was Carol’s in Northern Indiana. It was an amazing service! It was at the church that she has been serving. They had a lot of great energy and they were very excited about the evening.
I then visited the cathedral in Chicago and saw Mary, Gwynne, Sandra, and Bob get ordained. It was great to see them!
The next weekend was the Diocese of Michigan’s priest ordinations. Heather, Nixon, Ann, and George. I was so happy that I got to be there. I was sorry that I couldn’t spend more time, but I had to get home to finish up the sermon….oh, well. Hopefully, I’ll see them all again soon.
The Scripture for this sermon can be found here.
Have you ever had to surrender something as you follow Jesus? It might be a physical thing, something that you have turned into an idol, such as money. It might be thoughts or ideas – anger that you hold against another person, or jealousy. It might be behaviors that are harmful to yourself or others. Or you might have surrendered something that you previously thought was a good thing – such as a job or a house that you left to move on to another part of your life.
At Seabury, seminarians would often talk about what they gave up to get there – selling homes, leaving good paying jobs, being separated from (or uprooting) families. I seemed to be in a fortunate place – no full time job to leave, no family to uproot. I did not have to let go of many things at the beginning, but as I reached the end of my seminary career, I was confronted with the realization that I needed to release an expectation that I held. I was almost done with seminary and did not have a job. In my life prior to this, I have never wanted for a job. My life has been spent being handed a job (or three) at ever juncture.
Suddenly, I didn’t have the security of a job, a steady income. I started to question what I would do. How I would survive. I knew that through the generosity of friends and family, I would be fine for a while. But what would happen after several months? Will I have to go back to substitute teaching in the fall? This does not sound like a step forward for someone who just spent three years in seminary. I had told Jesus Christ, “I will follow you” and was now ready for where He called me. I was ready to work – to do ministry. And abruptly, there was nothing – I had walked the path and was waiting for the perfect job to fall into my lap. Nothing.
I thought that I was a talented person, someone that could easily get the job that she wanted. I knew that if I did it my way, I could find the job…
But maybe that was the point…it isn’t my plan, it’s God’s. There was a real fear in giving up control. I made the assumption that I would immediately get the perfect job. I suddenly had to re-evaluate and re-envision my life. This was a great struggle for me. At first, I was angry that it wasn’t working out – according to my plan. Then I got scared. I questioned my call – am I really called to be a priest? What am I supposed to be doing with my life? What will I do?
I then remembered what I had told God at the beginning of the process. “I will follow you wherever you lead.” I returned to this thought. I realized that in this process, I needed to joyfully turn over the anxiety and worry about not having a job. I had to give up the idea that I knew what was best in my life, that I could find the right job for me. I needed to return to God and say, “I will follow. Lead me.”
Those of you who struggle with your spiritual journeys – focusing on your thoughts and needs or sometimes forgetting your commitment to follow Christ, might understand the repetitive nature of this returning. For me, it is not simply a one-time promise. It’s easy to say, “I will follow.” It’s much harder to spend every minute of every day following God. There are challenges and hardships. There are unexpected forks in the road. However, when we get to those points, there is a Grace that occurs when we turn back to God and say, “Lead me.” God responds by showing us which road to take. It’s not always clear immediately, but as we trust God to show us, we can usually find the right path. And every time we get distracted, we can simply turn back to God.
In my situation, a great relief and freedom has come by returning to ask God’s plan. I begin every morning with the prayer, “God show me where to be today. Help me take care of myself in order to more fully care for others. Let me not be concerned with my fear and anxiety. Let me hear Your voice in my day, in my work, and in the people around me.” During days that I begin with that prayer, things go smoothly and I remember that the work that I do is for the glory of God. I have returned to my father’s house in Allegan to get things in order. I need to clean out the stuff that has been sitting around – for 15 years. I have time to rest and renew my spirit. It has been a time for physical, emotional, and spiritual restructuring. It is not what I expected after graduation, but it is where I have been called. It has been good and productive work – when I remember to start my day with the centering prayer. Those days that I forget, I get scared. This fear binds me and I get overwhelmed with my situation. The chains of my thoughts constrict me and it’s harder to hear God’s voice.
Have you ever felt chained down, bound and unable to move in your spiritual journey? The chains might be distractions away from what God is calling you to. The bindings might be the comforts of what you know. You may be incapacitated by a fear for survival. You might, at one point, have told Jesus, “I will follow you” but then got distracted away from the path down which He is leading you. When you turn and ask for guidance, you might be surprised by where you are led next. Jesus sometimes turns our expectations around and asks for us to surrender things that are near and dear to us. We are surprised at Jesus’ reaction to our assumptions and beliefs.
In the Gospel today, Jesus meets three people. The first wants to follow Jesus. Jesus outlines the challenge of following him. “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests; but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.” The implication being, “If you follow me, you will also have nowhere to lay your head.” Did the man decided to follow? Was he willing to surrender a home to be a disciple of Jesus?
The second man, chained to duty, thought that he needed to bury his dead father before being a disciple. Jesus rebukes that idea. The man is bound to this societal expectation, and Jesus releases the binds that distract him from following.
The third also wants to look back, chained to his family. But Jesus says that crooked rows are created when one plows looking backward. This man is being called to a new life and a new vocation. His expectations are not part of Jesus’ plan for him. Jesus offers a new life – a new freedom that has not been experience before.
The three people in the Gospel were offered a freedom in Jesus. They could become disciples if they cast off the chains of expectations and comforts that weighed them down. They did not realize that Jesus would demand such a different path than they expected. They had to decide to follow Jesus’ radical call or stay where they were.
We also have that choice. Jesus calls us to surrender our chains that bind us. He wants our focus be forward in order to make progress in our spiritual journey. Jesus will lead, but we have to pay attention and follow.
Reflecting on your journey, have you been able to stay focused ahead? What has distracted you from following Jesus? I seem to easily get distracted by my plan for my life – the expectations and timelines that I hold. What has helped you turn and cast off the chains that bind you? The Gospel story makes it clear – our future cannot be tied to anyone but Jesus. As we strap on a plow, we can focus on Jesus and He will lead. Our rows will be straight and sure. We can be confident in the work that we do, and not be distracted off of our path. As we examine our lives, we might find the weight of the flesh binding us – impurity, idolatry, jealousy, or the expectation of employment. In surrendering these things, we can experience a freedom to follow Jesus Christ more closely.
Jesus continues to beckon us to follow Him. He calls, “Come, follow me.” What do we need to joyfully surrender in order to create space for God to work in our lives? In releasing the chains, we can more easily show the fruits of the Spirit – love, peace, kindness, and generosity to others.
So, boldly declare, “Jesus, I will follow you! Lead me!” Let us surrender those things that bind us and constrict our movement. We have a freedom in Jesus, and, we can realize and rejoice in that freedom as we journey together, following wherever Jesus leads us.
So – how many moons are there in our solar system?
Did you know that there is a North American Stone Skipping Association? I had NO idea…
Take a look at how the earth breathes. This is very cool. You may have to go to here and then click on “npp_20012002_lrg.mpg”
Of course, everyone wants to go to Mars. And once you get there, you need a calendar and a clock. And make sure to do some research on the ice caps – water or carbon dioxide?
And if you want to travel further, how will you get there?
And is there entirely too much information in the world? These people think so!
The Kalamazoo Civic has a show this month called Class Reunion. It was really funny. It was an interactive theater production (like Tony and Tina’s Wedding). The actors were great. It was fun to see and do for the evening.
I got a great break in New Jersey and New York. It was great. I was able to visit Red Bank and the Secret Stash store! Then, to the Quick Stop and the video store. How cool is that?????? (For further explanation, see ViewAskew, and any of Kevin Smith’s movies.)
We spent a day in New York. Visited Tavern on the Green for lunch. It was very nice. Great food in the middle of Central Park. We then visited the Museum of Natural History. It was beautiful. I would love to spend more time there. We didn’t get in to see the frog exhibit, but did see The Search for Life: Are We Alone? in the planetarium and an IMAX film about the life at the Mid-Atlantic Ridge. They were both really fabulously done. The IMAX film was a little choppy – they jumped around a bit and at some points it was hard to follow – but really great information.
My graduation present to myself was going to Harry Potter 3. Several of us went on Friday after graduation. I really enjoyed it. Sure, it was different than the book. Sure, it was a different director. But I really liked it. They would have had to do some major damage for me to be unhappy with it. Therefore, I loved it, it was great. I may not see it again in the theater, but probably again when it is out on DVD – for all those extras!
I am now a graduate!!!!! Friday, June 4, 2004 was the ceremony. It was a beautiful service. And I now have my Masters of Divinity. And no job… oh, well…. On to the next thing! Which includes lots of rest and relaxation, reading FICTION, and watching movies! Oh, right…and catching up on the blog (yes, it has been greatly neglected over the past 2 weeks). Check this page out over the next few weeks to find out all the fun I’ve had since graduation day! (That is, if anyone is still checking to see… It has been really hard to get thing organized to figure out what I’m doing…)
In case you missed the last post about Utne, a friend gave it to me for a Christmas present.
Interesting things in this issue:
Finally, a way to really help the hungry and needy. I am excited to see what will happen with this…Should work since the theory is that we have all that we need to feed all people.
For educators who want to look into nonviolent conflict resolution, check out the Tariq Khamisa Foundation.
There are so many different ways to do personality tests. Here is an enneagram test.
I am a big fan of green spaces. I grew up on a 90 acre farm. I had a LOT of green space. Places like Evanston drive me nuts – too many people and not enough space. At the Project for Public Spaces, you can find out how to save some place in your neighborhood.
This is how you can create less traffic. This would be good in my opinion too. How can we create safer places in the areas where we live?
So – here you can see what celebrities have done to themselves through the “miracles” of plastic surgery. It surprises me that someone would actually take the time to compile and keep this list… But also interesting enough to link to…
So, in the Feb. 2004 issue of Discover, I found some fun stuff. (Yes, I’m behind on the magazines – school has been overwhelming with other reading.)
Check out The Weather Project page.
Are you confused about when things have happened? How many years ago did the dinosaurs die? Check out this timeline.
I have a new appreciation for tarantulas. The article was really cool and tarantulas have some great skills that I don’t know about – like throwing hair to ward off attackers.
There are cool puzzles at the end of every issue.