So – Shane threw out some helpful stuff at the first round of this.
I, of course, am still working on processing more deeply the implications of decision making and further discerning where I am going.
So – if we use the word “regret” for the emotion that comes from one who has reached a present that s/he is unhappy with, what can we do before we get to that emotion? How does one make decisions now that later will not be regretted?
Of course, I naturally think about my situation. What job should I get? Should we stay in Chicago or move back to Michigan? How does getting married change my future? While I don’t expect answers to all of these things now, what is the process by which I get to the point where I’ve made the best decision possible?
My co-facilitator for the Canterbury discernment group talked about that when choices are made, often things must be sacrificed. If I choose one route, that cuts off some of my other options. This is not brain surgery – obviously, if I choose to get married, then dating other men is not an option. But how can I help ensure that in choosing one route that things that are important to me are not sacrificed?
Okay – of course I’m back to questions. And on some level, answers are self-evident and are silly to even ask – while, on the other hand are unanswerable until after the decision is made.
But my hope in looking at these questions is that I can help others recognize that decisions are being made and that there are actually choices occurring and that people can influence their futures by making more careful decisions today. So – that later – they do not regret. They aren’t stuck in a corner with very few options because they didn’t take time to discern carefully their options.
So – I guess that I’m really interested in reviewing the decision-making process. In my discernment, things have been very clear because I have taken the time to pray through stuff. I actively check in with several different sources in making decisions. Somehow, I end up making decisions that seem to work out well in the end.
How do you make decisions? How do you help other people make decisions?
Posted by Heather Voss at March 12, 2006 10:40 PMDecision making, hmmmm. It's a tough one. I guess the small ones aren't tough though. Do I eat that chocolate donut or not? Easy! Eat it.
I've always been a rather cut and dried person. I'm all about making the plus and minus column on paper and looking at it for a while. Now, just because there are more entries in the plus column doesn't always swing the deal. I think some of the minuses are weighted.
Would it be nice to NOT have to come to a crossroad in one's life - no decision making. Heck no! That's what makes us stronger.
Good luck, kiddo.
So here is my fuel for the fire.
One of the things every economist knows is that people make decscions based on their preferences and the available alternatives. Even if we don't see it there are almost always alternatives, even if the alternative is simply the negative or inverse of our obvious option. Sometimes this is very hard to see. So anytime we make a decision we decide what our other options are and then which option we prefer due to the long list of reasons we prefer things (personal history, emotional attachement, percieved social stigma, etc.).
Secondly, In December I took several days to make a decision. I asked several people who's opinion I held in high regard. They all told me to do the thing that I was thinking of doing. Now it is possible that I was spinning the "facts" in a manner to favor the outcome I wanted, even if I was doing it sub-consciously. But they all told me I was in the right to take the action I was thinking about taking. So I took it. The ramifications of the were multitiered and mired in politics. Needless to say it didn't come out the way I planned. So people choose to or are unable not to see the world with blinders on. Sometimes logic is right, especailly when emotions are involved.
I knew that there was a possiblity of a bad outcome. I decided that the odds were in my favor, or I had a preference for that choice. But even when the odds are 1,000,000 to 1, somebody has to be that 1.
Do I regret it. I did for a while, maybe I still do some. But overall I can see that it isn't a very big deal in the long run. As it is so often. Just don't let the little things add up to a big thing and your are at least OK.
Posted by: djweso at March 22, 2006 10:10 PM