Rambling is Good for the Soul

Proper 8, Year C

The Scripture for this sermon can be found here.

Have you ever had to surrender something as you follow Jesus? It might be a physical thing, something that you have turned into an idol, such as money. It might be thoughts or ideas – anger that you hold against another person, or jealousy. It might be behaviors that are harmful to yourself or others. Or you might have surrendered something that you previously thought was a good thing – such as a job or a house that you left to move on to another part of your life.

At Seabury, seminarians would often talk about what they gave up to get there – selling homes, leaving good paying jobs, being separated from (or uprooting) families. I seemed to be in a fortunate place – no full time job to leave, no family to uproot. I did not have to let go of many things at the beginning, but as I reached the end of my seminary career, I was confronted with the realization that I needed to release an expectation that I held. I was almost done with seminary and did not have a job. In my life prior to this, I have never wanted for a job. My life has been spent being handed a job (or three) at ever juncture.

Suddenly, I didn’t have the security of a job, a steady income. I started to question what I would do. How I would survive. I knew that through the generosity of friends and family, I would be fine for a while. But what would happen after several months? Will I have to go back to substitute teaching in the fall? This does not sound like a step forward for someone who just spent three years in seminary. I had told Jesus Christ, “I will follow you” and was now ready for where He called me. I was ready to work – to do ministry. And abruptly, there was nothing – I had walked the path and was waiting for the perfect job to fall into my lap. Nothing.

I thought that I was a talented person, someone that could easily get the job that she wanted. I knew that if I did it my way, I could find the job…

But maybe that was the point…it isn’t my plan, it’s God’s. There was a real fear in giving up control. I made the assumption that I would immediately get the perfect job. I suddenly had to re-evaluate and re-envision my life. This was a great struggle for me. At first, I was angry that it wasn’t working out – according to my plan. Then I got scared. I questioned my call – am I really called to be a priest? What am I supposed to be doing with my life? What will I do?

I then remembered what I had told God at the beginning of the process. “I will follow you wherever you lead.” I returned to this thought. I realized that in this process, I needed to joyfully turn over the anxiety and worry about not having a job. I had to give up the idea that I knew what was best in my life, that I could find the right job for me. I needed to return to God and say, “I will follow. Lead me.”

Those of you who struggle with your spiritual journeys – focusing on your thoughts and needs or sometimes forgetting your commitment to follow Christ, might understand the repetitive nature of this returning. For me, it is not simply a one-time promise. It’s easy to say, “I will follow.” It’s much harder to spend every minute of every day following God. There are challenges and hardships. There are unexpected forks in the road. However, when we get to those points, there is a Grace that occurs when we turn back to God and say, “Lead me.” God responds by showing us which road to take. It’s not always clear immediately, but as we trust God to show us, we can usually find the right path. And every time we get distracted, we can simply turn back to God.

In my situation, a great relief and freedom has come by returning to ask God’s plan. I begin every morning with the prayer, “God show me where to be today. Help me take care of myself in order to more fully care for others. Let me not be concerned with my fear and anxiety. Let me hear Your voice in my day, in my work, and in the people around me.” During days that I begin with that prayer, things go smoothly and I remember that the work that I do is for the glory of God. I have returned to my father’s house in Allegan to get things in order. I need to clean out the stuff that has been sitting around – for 15 years. I have time to rest and renew my spirit. It has been a time for physical, emotional, and spiritual restructuring. It is not what I expected after graduation, but it is where I have been called. It has been good and productive work – when I remember to start my day with the centering prayer. Those days that I forget, I get scared. This fear binds me and I get overwhelmed with my situation. The chains of my thoughts constrict me and it’s harder to hear God’s voice.

Have you ever felt chained down, bound and unable to move in your spiritual journey? The chains might be distractions away from what God is calling you to. The bindings might be the comforts of what you know. You may be incapacitated by a fear for survival. You might, at one point, have told Jesus, “I will follow you” but then got distracted away from the path down which He is leading you. When you turn and ask for guidance, you might be surprised by where you are led next. Jesus sometimes turns our expectations around and asks for us to surrender things that are near and dear to us. We are surprised at Jesus’ reaction to our assumptions and beliefs.

In the Gospel today, Jesus meets three people. The first wants to follow Jesus. Jesus outlines the challenge of following him. “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests; but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.” The implication being, “If you follow me, you will also have nowhere to lay your head.” Did the man decided to follow? Was he willing to surrender a home to be a disciple of Jesus?

The second man, chained to duty, thought that he needed to bury his dead father before being a disciple. Jesus rebukes that idea. The man is bound to this societal expectation, and Jesus releases the binds that distract him from following.

The third also wants to look back, chained to his family. But Jesus says that crooked rows are created when one plows looking backward. This man is being called to a new life and a new vocation. His expectations are not part of Jesus’ plan for him. Jesus offers a new life – a new freedom that has not been experience before.

The three people in the Gospel were offered a freedom in Jesus. They could become disciples if they cast off the chains of expectations and comforts that weighed them down. They did not realize that Jesus would demand such a different path than they expected. They had to decide to follow Jesus’ radical call or stay where they were.

We also have that choice. Jesus calls us to surrender our chains that bind us. He wants our focus be forward in order to make progress in our spiritual journey. Jesus will lead, but we have to pay attention and follow.

Reflecting on your journey, have you been able to stay focused ahead? What has distracted you from following Jesus? I seem to easily get distracted by my plan for my life – the expectations and timelines that I hold. What has helped you turn and cast off the chains that bind you? The Gospel story makes it clear – our future cannot be tied to anyone but Jesus. As we strap on a plow, we can focus on Jesus and He will lead. Our rows will be straight and sure. We can be confident in the work that we do, and not be distracted off of our path. As we examine our lives, we might find the weight of the flesh binding us – impurity, idolatry, jealousy, or the expectation of employment. In surrendering these things, we can experience a freedom to follow Jesus Christ more closely.

Jesus continues to beckon us to follow Him. He calls, “Come, follow me.” What do we need to joyfully surrender in order to create space for God to work in our lives? In releasing the chains, we can more easily show the fruits of the Spirit – love, peace, kindness, and generosity to others.

So, boldly declare, “Jesus, I will follow you! Lead me!” Let us surrender those things that bind us and constrict our movement. We have a freedom in Jesus, and, we can realize and rejoice in that freedom as we journey together, following wherever Jesus leads us.

Posted by Heather Voss at June 28, 2004 10:19 AM