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May 03, 2005
Suffering and Misery
Chaplain Tripp emailed me a response to today’s case study, from which we can hang our further comments. He says:
How do we understand ourselves as a single Body when the suffering of the individual comes to the fore. In my estimation, this is one of the core questions that Don and Sheila are facing. Our understanding of corporate suffering and responsibility is often at odds with our understanding of individual suffering and responsibility.
Job expects his friends to step up and understand. They do not and will not. Job is left alone his misery. Paul often speaks of his own sin, the thorn in is side, as his private burden. And yet it leads him to articulate an understanding of shared sin and salvation in the Body of Christ.
Sheila wonders why the church has not responded. Don wants to know why Sheila has not been clear about her needs. I see this every day at the hospital. Ministers are called by the family at the last possible moment, or are never called at all. "We would not want to trouble them" is often a family's rationale. Sometimes it is as if the family assumes that the pastor has some form of extrasensory perception and will know to come without the aid of a phone call. Funeral homes are so aware of this dynamic that many make a habit of
calling the family's pastor for them. I have spoken to many irate ministers and disappointed families.
The nature of the Body of Christ is realized only when our intentional actions (performance) matches our relational assumptions. It takes work. But our suffering may burden us to such a degree that we cannot even ask for help. And, as pastors, we may be limited in the help we can give. Can we arrive before Lazarus dies? Can we bring some resurrection after Lazarus has passed on and been buried? These questions linger.
There is some Bonhoeffer we could apply here as well. Did the Church let you down? Well, of course it did. Sin exists in all of us, even (especially?) those of us who attempt to be the Body of Christ. Why else does forgiveness exist but for the sake of sins? Why else does resurrection exist but for the sake of death?
Posted by AKMA at May 3, 2005 10:59 AM
Comments
It seems we are caught in a Catch 22. On the one hand, our parishioners don't feel like they can ask for help, often stating they don't want to be a burden. In some cases, they don't ask because they don't know if there is anything we can do to help. On the other hand, we can't help, or try to help, if we aren't asked and informed. As we sadly learned in class, clergy do not receive ESP at the laying-on of hands by the bishop. Well, we are not alone. As I recall, people even had to ask Jesus for help. Yes, he did seem to know that people needed healing or raising from the dead, but it seems that he generally waited for others to ask before he acted. He waited for news of Lazarus' death before going to Bethany. He had to be asked by Jairus to heal his daughter, by the centurian to heal his slave. There is something about the act of asking that expresses one's faith that something can be done to help. Maybe part of the problem is that clergy have not done such a good job of educating their parishioners and letting them know that we are here to help. They just need to have faith enough to ask.
Posted by: Michael F at May 10, 2005 04:24 PM
I have a real problem with the idea of not being bothered or of someone assuming they are going to bother me with unburdening their troubles. I have spent most of my life saying that part of my priestly call is to be with people in their suffering. I have only recently thought that perhaps this is due to a morbid fascination I have about other people. Keeping that in mind I really do believe that one of the primary things about pastoring to communities is walking the path of life - with it's joys and sorrows. I want to foster a world where I am able to do the job I am called to - that is be with people when they need to discern the movement of God in their life. I had a priest tell me, "Don't apologize for calling me on my day off. If you need me, it is my job to be here for you." It was the last time I assumed that my priest was only interested in me on Sunday mornings. Please let me have the forethought to make this a reality in my own ministries.
Posted by: Jenni Liem at May 24, 2005 01:37 PM